When the family loses direction: between the waves of life and looking to Christ
The one who reveals Himself to them is the Lord, and the word He addresses to them remains unforgettable for any person in the middle of the storm: “Do not be afraid!” Disbelieving, Peter asks Him for a trust, asking Him for the seemingly impossible – to make him like Him, to be able to walk on water, to remain undisturbed in the midst of the waves.
What follows is essential for all of us. The Apostle Peter shows us that, as long as his gaze remains fixed on the Lord, he seems to borrow from His strength and manages to tread on the waves, going against the headwind, overcoming his condition as a vulnerable human being. But the moment the sea regains his attention, and concern begins to take hold of his heart, he begins to sink.
This is, in fact, also our situation, that of our families.
Almost every bride or groom sets out on the path of life as a couple with a “yes” spoken not only in front of the civil registrar, but also in their own hearts, full of enthusiasm, love, and trust. There is, at the beginning, the promise, the dream, the desire to walk together. But, as time goes by, the “waves” appear: worries, conflicts, fatigue, the discovery of differences in perspective, and external pressures.
And then, the question arises: What captures our attention? Where is our gaze directed? To the waves of life – to the worries that arise, or to Christ?
It was not the presence of the waves that made Peter sink, although this would be the human explanation, but the loss of direction. The same is true in our homes: it is not the conflicts themselves that have the power to destroy the family, but the fact that we lose our meaning, our target, our gaze from Christ – the One to whom, once, we looked from the altar, holding the hand of the one with whom we decided to walk our whole lives.
Family is not a coincidence, but a road with a precise destination
We often hear around us: “She was unlucky in love” or “she had the chance of a good husband”. Is marriage a simple coincidence of chance?
Saint Mark the Ascetic says, “Do not think or do anything without a purpose pleasing to God. For he who travels without a purpose will labor in vain.”
The context in which we live today – marked by the development of technology, the multitude of responsibilities, and the avalanche of messages that flood our minds and hearts – often brings waste to family life. We leave, we come, we work, we earn, we struggle, but not all of this gives meaning to our personal lives and, even less, to family life.
If we look at these stimuli as waves, we find ourselves in the situation of the Apostle Peter. “Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be overcome by anything” (1 Cor. 6, 12). It is not work or worries that sink us, but the lack of a clear direction. When you do not know where you are going, every step becomes oppressive. When you are like a blind man wandering along the path of life, what chances do you have of reaching your destination walking alongside another blind man?
Experience shows us that, without a clear meaning, family becomes just a form of coexistence – a contract or an exchange of services. But when there is a meaning, family becomes a mission.
There are families that just live together and families that walk together. The difference is not the absence of problems, but the existence or absence of a common meaning. Some psychologists have called this meaning the “marital imperative” – the answer to the question: “Where do we, as a family, want to go?”
It is a conscious choice, perhaps simply stated, but deeply lived: “we want to be saved together”, “we want to raise children in the light, “we want our lives to be useful to others”.
When this meaning exists, the family begins to transform. Identity becomes clearer – we are no longer just “the two of us”, but a living unity. Peace begins to emerge even in the midst of tensions, because we are no longer fighting against each other, but together against what is taking us away from our goal. Everyone grows, because things are no longer done out of obligation, but out of the desire not to weaken what is common. The closeness becomes deeper, not just emotional, but existential. And the relationship takes root and is no longer easily shaken by any wind.
We do not just follow “a path”, but “The Path” Itself
A family can choose many directions: to seek stability and well-being, to build a name in society, to give to others, to raise children beautifully, or to leave something lasting behind – and all of these can set life on a good path. But, beyond these choices, there is a deeper peace when we do not just follow “a path”, but “The Way”, as Christ reveals himself to us: “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6).
When two spouses leave themselves in His hands, life is no longer an uncertain race between desires and fears, but becomes a journey lived together, with meaning and light. The burdens no longer weigh down in the same way, because they are carried together with Him, and the joys are no longer fragile, but gain depth. In the heart of the house – our little boat – a peace slowly settles that does not come from outside, but from the fact that the two of them no longer walk alone, but are held, guided, and loved by the One who is the Way Himself.
The family is not a place where we are protected from the hardships of life, but it can become the place where we learn to step over them, with the help of the One who can “borrow” us of His strength. As long as we live, the waves will not disappear. The wind will not stop. But it will always be the Lord who calls us to put Him at the center of our lives.
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