Depression arises from a lack of reconciliation of the soul with itself, with God, or with people

– Life has never been easier than it is now. And yet, there is more and more suffering in the world. Where does it come from?

– Depression is a state of decline. It arises from a lack of reconciliation of the soul with itself, with God or with people. It is a state of conflict, of inner rupture, between the soul and the intellect. A lack of balance. Depression means, first of all, a lack of love. People suffer when they can no longer find shelter in the other souls around them. When they cannot find free support from their fellow men, people become discouraged and in their relationship with God, it is difficult for them to imagine a loving God. But if people still betray, because they are powerless, God is the only one who never betrays. However, it is very difficult to reach the measure of the relationship with God, without relating to people. We also need confirmation from our fellow men, that we are not useless in the world. That is why one cannot escape depression without that unconditional love, which does not demand anything in return, which does not judge or accuse you, but welcomes you and gives you rest.

– By truly loving those in despair, could we help them heal?

– We should be God ourselves for each other, to give them rest and give them trust and shelter, like a refuge on a mountain during a storm. To protect them and be their home. When you feed the other, you are actually feeding God, when you hug them, they put on you and are no longer cold. When you talk to them, they warm up to your words. Love is the only escape. I have met people who have overcome states bordering on pathology. They were not reconciled, because they could not forgive, and that state of unforgiveness was grinding them, deconstructing them internally. When they managed to forgive, to reconcile, to receive those who wronged them in their hearts, they recovered spectacularly. You just have to be patient. Only entering into a loving relationship with others can quench a person's thirst. When a person finds rest in a relationship, he recovers. But for this he must get rid of the obsession with the self.

– You mean to give up selfishness?

– Selfishness, self-will, are our greatest enemies. They tyrannize both us and others. We cannot have deep relationships with others without self-denial. If I do not deny myself, I ask the other to align with my self, that is, to align with me in thinking, in feeling, to see the world exactly as I do. It means to enslave him, to deprive him of freedom. And then I cancel his being, he can no longer evolve. He starts to defend himself and moves away from me, because he feels that I tend to abolish him, even if I may compensate with external things. I reward him with gifts, but in fact I possess him, I enslave him, I turn him into an accessory with which to adorn myself. And, in the end, I feel just as alone. When you are free from your obsessions and self-serving, you start to really think about the other person, to think about what gesture you could do for them, without them asking you. Could you wait for them with something good to eat? Could you bring them a glass of water? Could you make a trip in their place? What could be nicer than going to adjust the blanket on their back, so that the draft doesn't blow them away when they go to bed? The paradox is that only when you reject yourself, do you win yourself and win the other person too. You conquer it when you give up conquering it. The more you want to subordinate and control, the more alone you are, the more you support others, the more you are surrounded by people. People should be like candles that, consuming themselves, illuminate their surroundings and warm others.

Father Pantelimon of the Oaşa Monastery